My sister's children and religion
Since there is no Uncle'ing on StackExchange, I figured the Parenting site is the closest match to my dilemma.
Fist some backstory. My sister and I were raised in a mildly conservative (middle of the road) Jewish family. At an early age, I realized I was agnostic/atheistic. My parents always said it was a phase and I would grow out of it. However, over time, my opinion only solidified. This of course caused conflict between my parents and me. As the years past, they have come to live with my choice. My sister's participation dwindled to almost none, when she started her own life.
Now that she has kids, she is more participatory in religion again. She goes to synagogue and sends them to Hebrew and Sunday school. I asked her why, she said it was good for the kids to learn about the religion and culture. To be honest, I dont even know if she even believes in god or religion, she never talks about it. And I never ask, as it has zero importance to me.
My nephew is having his Bar-Mitzvah (the Jewish rite of manhood) later this year. I was asked to participate and I agreed. Naturally, I want to see my family, as I dont see them very often. However, as my sister's kids get older, sooner or later they will ask me about my beliefs and religion. Quite possibly at a religious event that is coming up in a few months...
I will not lie about my beliefs, or lack thereof. I am proud of the fact that I have turned away from theistic beliefs and religion. However, I can see potential conflict with my family. I am tired of hearing my parents say, why cant you respect our religion, when they have no respect for my lack of religion. I see this conflict more with my parents, but I am afraid to hurt my sister's feelings as well.
When the situation finally rears it's head, how do I talk about my beliefs to my nephew and niece in a way that wont cause (or at least minimize) conflict with the rest of my family without compromising my own beliefs?
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Live and let live. While you will obviously want to go along with the show at the bar mitzvah, if the nephews ever ask about your beliefs, I see no reason to lie, even by omission. If your sister's feelings are hurt because you tell your nephews that you do not believe in God, then quite frankly that's your sister's problem, not yours.
Also, I'll disagree with Ajaypayne's answer: it is not your job to "reinforce their beliefs". If their belief is strong, it will withstand finding out that somebody they know is atheist. If their belief is not strong, or they've already independently come to the same conclusions as you did, they will appreciate finding an ally.
While you should not lie, you can tell half truths. So rather than telling them about your lack of religious belief, you could instead tell them you were raised Jewish just like them.
I would however suggest that you talk to your sister about it, tell her that you don't want to lie but want to respect her wishes, so if they do ask, how does she want you to answer. She may say that she doesn't want you to tell them you are not religious, but she might say you can tell them so long as you don't try to influence them.
I am not religious, but have been in the past and so I have the ability to appreciate both sides of the coin, just as I am sure you do. So you could tell them that you were raised Jewish and tell them some of the good parts of growing up Jewish that you remember and leave it at that. It will help to reinforce their beliefs without compromising yours.
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