At what age should a child be expected to learn to "hold it"
When out with my 4 year old, we go to the bathroom at EVERY place we go to. I call it bathroom tourism. I don't think he has to go nearly as often as he indicates, but, since he manages to conjure up some poop or pee at each stop its hard to tell if he felt a real physical urge or if he just wanted to check out yet another ladies' room color scheme.
My question is, when is it appropriate for me to start requiring him to "hold it"? How long can I expect him to be able to wait to relieve himself?
Some history and relevant facts:
He was a bed wetter until very recently; we still wake him at 11:00 to go to the bathroom, just in case.
He has only had one accident (urine) since potty training, and it was because he was holding it and refused to go to the bathroom, despite our repeated efforts to get him to go.
This kid drinks A LOT of water and milk. It's just who he is; we had him tested for diabetes, etc since his thirst seems excessive, but all tests indicate he's normal. Obviously, because of this the volume that he puts out is more than the average kid.
He stands up to pee.
He doesn't have any problems with constipation.
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First, be thankful your son is telling you rather than just going in his pants without mentioning it ahead of time. At age 4, if he's able to tell you when he needs to pee, and if he is asking as often as he seems to be asking, he may well be able to hold it for a short period of time. I've asked my 4 year old to hold it with success when I knew that he could usually last for longer between bathroom trips.
I'd suggest picking some times when you know there will be another bathroom available within, say, half an hour, telling him there isn't time to go just yet, and asking him to hold it for the next bathroom. Increase the intervals until they are either long enough that they're not a burden for you, or he starts having accidents. If the latter, back off to an interval that he can handle without accidents.
Also, if he is not yet peeing standing up, you can make most of the bathroom visits a lot quicker by teaching him to do so. At age 4, there's a good chance he can learn to do this with a standard toilet height.
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