How can I explain to my parents I do not want to find a job yet?
I'm a 23 years old girl with aspergers living with my parents. I used to live on my own, studied and had a job. Stuff went terribly wrong. My grades were bad, I was poor (my parents couldn't support me and running my own company didn't result in very stable pay, if I had pay at all) and I simply didn't have enough time in the day to study, work and take care of myself. On top of that, my boyfriend was mentally abusive.
I made some drastic choices. I moved across the country back to my parents. I abandoned my friends, the city I lived in, everything that had been my adult life to live in this rural town 40 kilometers from university. Luckily there's a bus.
Things are actually going okay now. I've broken up with my ex, I'm recovering from the depression previous events left me in, met an amazing new guy, started a bachelor degree in IT, I'm getting good grades, I'm gonna graduate next year, I've got an amazing job offer, couldn't be better.
Except this job offer is two hours away from here. And full time. Like every other job offer I've got. I cannot possibly accept that without severely endangering my studies. I've been looking at jobs in town too. There's no jobs around in IT. The town is too small. I looked in the university's town too. That has 3 or so IT companies. Of course I applied to all of them. Same story, full time or they already hired a classmate. (I live on an island, the university is on another one. All very rural. It has 4000 students total, to show the scale of all of this. The town has 40.000 inhabitants.)
My studies are the kind where I have class one or two days a week and I have to plan the rest myself, including client meetings. So I spend a lot of time at home. In this time I try to do chores around the house. But to be honest, these chores are already costing me a lot of time I cannot spend on my studies. I may be home, but I need to study too. We have a 6 person household with 4 people working full time, 2 students and a dog. I basically have to take care of the whole household at this point.
My parents keep pushing me to find a job. I have job offers lining up, I've got my graduation internship arranged, but I do not believe I can take a job without endangering my studies at this point. I have one year left. September next year I can start working. How can I explain this to my parents?
1 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
I think what you wrote in the question is a very good explanation. If you want to make it short, condense it to something like:
I want to finish my studies quickly and with good grades, so I can get
a good job afterwards. Studying requires time, and therefore please
understand that I am prioritizing stuying over working right now.
I am trying to find a job
that is practical to combine with my studies, but that is difficult
and not my main priority.
At the same time, talk to your parents to find out why they are pushing you to find a job now. Are they worried you are slacking off? Worried you are not getting work experience? Is money tight? Do they want to see an effort from you to help out with the family situation?
Try to resolve this conflict (if it is one) my listening to and understanding their motivation. They are your parents, so they probably want the best for you :-).
On a practical note:
If you are looking for a small side job that is easy to schedule and interesting, have you considered private tutoring? I used to do this as a pupil and student, and I found it quite interesting (and even learnt something myself). As an IT student, you should have enough knowledge to tutor in maths and computer science for school pupils and possible even beginners at a university. You could do it as free-lance work, or at a tutoring school (if you have such things), or even as volunteer work.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © freshhoot.com2025 All Rights reserved.