: How do you deal with a spoiled niece? My 8 year old niece (actually my cousin's daughter) is really quite spoiled. Her parents constantly bribe her to get her to do what they want. We sometimes take vacations together.

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You might consider communicating to her how the going out or performing a specific activity is the treat, and that not all gifts are objects, but experiences.

Still, she's 8 and this isn't something you can change in her. However, she is old enough to recognize that different adults will treat her differently, and react to her actions differently. Often the cure for this type of behavior is treating her the way you treat your son, over a long period of time, so she comes to understand your relationship with her.

If you only ever visit her once or twice a year for a few hours or days at a time, there's little you can do other than take her behavior and preferences into account in your planning.

Lastly, if you spend time trying to understand her interests, you may be able to come to a middle ground where you feel ok giving a gift she's willing to accept for a given behavior. For instance, you might read to her at night, and get her interested in a particular long book. Then use an extra few pages/chapter of reading as a treat. Also, you might turn activities, gifts, or meals you were already planning on into a treat.