Confusing thoughts/depression
I've experimented depression for a while.
I mean, I haven't been feeling depressed everytime, only sometimes, especially when I was alone, but that's not the reason. Every "episode" was like I would want to die over and over again, but at a certain time, I've felt like I was detached from my mind and I was thinking about me crying as a "different" person, I've stopped realising why I was crying, everything was blurry for me, I've started to feel confused about everything.
Now, I'm fine, still feeling confused, but it's better. My problem now is that I'm struggling with fatigue. Everytime I want to focus on something, I feel lazy and tired, especially on rainy days. I've been playing a game, and I'm still playing, but now I'm not that good at playing and I don't know why, in the past was better even when I was sad.
I want to learn something new, but everytime I'm focused on learning I have something like fever and my eyes are burning and I gave up.
I'm afraid of possible illness.
What should I do? I've tried to drink more coffee, eat more, sport etc., doesn't help too much. I can't afford to go to a psychologist/doctor right now.
Sorry for my bad english, I'm not native speaker.
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Professional Advice is vital
Psychologist:
I know you said you can’t afford to see a psychologist, and I can’t judge you. I don’t know of your financial background and costs of health care in your local region. I do want to point out that basically, what you have to ask yourself is how much your health is worth to you. If you can somehow manage to see a psychologist, you’d benefit greatly from it.
Churches:
Again, this is very dependent on where you live. In my area, local (Christian) priests have the qualifications of professional grief counsellors and chaplains. They usually offer their services for free.
Aid Organisations:
Organisations like the Red Cross also have professional psychologists and chaplains on a voluntary bases and demand little to no money for their services.
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