How do we follow up a description within a descriptive text with another description?
How do we follow up a description within a descriptive text with another description? Let's say you mention A and B in the first sentence, and then follow up with a long description of B, how do you then introduce the description of A without leading to an unpleasant change of flow.
For example:
The old man gave a lecture in front of the class. The class was a
really small classroom with a handful of seats, the windows gave a
view, a nice view of the outside, and illuminated the classroom, which
had a depressing atmosphere to say the least, almost creepy in a way.
The desks were very old and stank of mice and burning. The old man
had a very strange demeanor as he was talking. He held his chin high
and sometimes would find himself lost in thought, which made the
students wonder if all his head was in there.
As you can see there's a bad change of flow when I go back to the old man. Is there something I can do about it?
(1)1 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
If you're trying to have it feel less like the second description is interrupting the first, I'd recommend pulling out the description of B (the classroom) and making its own paragraph, establishing the setting for A (the old man) before going on to describe him.
So your example could be written like this:
The class was held in a tiny classroom with a handful of seats. The windows gave a nice view of the outside and illuminated the classroom, which had a depressing atmosphere to say the least, almost creepy in a way. The desks were very old and stank of mice and burning. (Description B, the classroom.)
At the front of the room, an old man was giving a lecture. He had a very strange demeanor as he was talking. He held his chin high and sometimes would find himself lost in thought, which made the students wonder if all his head was in there. (Description A, the old man.)
In general, try to have one description build the foundation for the next.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © freshhoot.com2025 All Rights reserved.