Overabundance of punctuation, too many pauses, like this title
I have a writing style which relies heavily on pauses, specifically commas and periods. I like to put them everywhere but I am quit sure I overdo it significantly. I was wondering if there are known remedies for this problem?
Here is an extreme sample excerpt from a SciFi text:
He watched the fire. It danced around the fresh wood, sparks swarming
out in perceived random. Quickly consumed, a crackle of heat, a flash,
a wave reached his skin. He watched the Vivicaust shed colors of
warmth, a radiant beauty. Dying. He freshened the lifespan,
scintillations abound.
He stared at the embers. Dead. A ruminating mind wandered with them,
lost in thoughts of impermanence. He rushed to fan the last glimmer of
hope, not yet. It wouldn't die yet.
I am also usually very concise and leave much thinking up to the reader. I am originally a German speaker. Might this be part of the cause? I recognize that it kills flow but I am unsure about my approach to fix it.
(1)1 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
The language in your question is very clear and doesn't seem to use the staccato approach found in your example sci-fi piece. Why not write your sci-fi piece with your natural language, that you seem to have used for your question?
I believe that would solve your problem, because you seem to be a clear concise writer -- from your question's example.
If you're looking for more than that then I suggest you read the fantastic book, Make Your Words Work -- amazon link, by the late Gary Provost.
He teaches very clearly about tone and style and it is quite helpful.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © freshhoot.com2025 All Rights reserved.