My child said to my wifes face that he loves his grandmother (wifes mom) more than her, can you offer some advice how to deal with this?
My wife and I are feeling hurt, because my 5-year-old son said the other night that he loves his grandma (my wife's mom) more than my wife. He said this to her face. She has been in a very bad place ever since. Does this happen to you and how do you deal with your child loving your parents more than you? Have they ever told you they love them more? Will this change?
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It seems you already talked to the grandma and it wasn't effective.
Now you need to take action. Because if you don't, it will never change. The grandma could get away everytime so far, so why would it change ?
After agreeing with your wife, have a talk with the grandma, stating you will reduce how often you visit her, because her behavior is affecting your family life.
And then do it : If the grandma ask you to come by, find a random excuse.
Don't cut her completely, your child still love her and wants to see her.
Don't focus too much on what your child say : as other answers mentioned, this will vary greatly from time to time.
But the behavior of the grandma is worrying : It is your child, so you get to decide the education. Comparing with other family is not an healthy behavior, it's an excuse for the grandma to do whatever she wants. At the end you should be the one who decides, no matter what is the decision.
The crying is also not healthy. I would go as far as calling it emotional abuse. Your child does not feel good seeing the grandma crying because he has to go. And he has to because of the parents. So the parents are bad.
The grandma should immediately cease this behavior : she's an adult and she should understand that the child cannot stay with her forever, and crying does not help anyone.
Also, don't mention you will see grandma less often to your child : it's not their fault, you don't want them to feel it's their fault.
Finally, as others mentioned it, you (or your wife) are not bad parents. Childs always have favorite. It will vary, the child will grow out of it soon.
I would be more worried about the behavior of the grandma. Be firm with her.
Don’t panic man, this is the same everywhere. All children love their grandparents cause they give them what they like.
Had my kids tell me they loved my wife more than me... just grin and bear it.
A few weeks later I was flavour of the month - had just fixed their bikes or something.
Don’t panic - they change allegiance quickly and don’t remember for long. It will sort itself out.
Edit:
Her bed? I would not let it go that far - keep to a standard routine... and get Dad to stand up as well...
We always had tea (supper) pause for a bit of light play, bath, teeth and bed around that age. Films are good but not school nights.
My daughter went through a stage of tears & tantrums to get her way... One of my sisters was looking after them as I was at work. Came home to find daughter was hiding in the bathroom trying to get her way... realised I was not going to fall for it and came out. My mum taught us well :)
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