My wild 3.5-year-old - have I missed out on the key years of relationship-building and discipline?
I have a 3.5-year-old son. He's bright and energetic, but I'm worried about his behavior, since it seems out of control.
He was walking at 7 months. His language has always been good - he knew his alphabet in song by 1 or so, and all his animals - hundreds. He has great abilities to rationalize, comprehend a story, and a good imagination and level of intelligence.
The problem is that he can't sit still. He still has this urge to run, to shout, to disobey and to throw tantrums and cry and the most preposterous events. Every day is a struggle.
We put him in a Nursery at 11 months when I went back to work, and it was OK at first. But then the biting began. And he was always so busy, unlike other children who could be still, he was always on the move.
Going to restaurants was out of the question.
We took to the odd spanking when his behavior goes really out of control.
Recently, he got kicked out of his pre-kindergarten nursery at 3.5. Granted these people were humourless and failed to celebrate his character, but is it me? What can I do to make him listen, to focus, to behave? Will he grow out of it? I'm terrified he'll get kicked out of his next school.
Bottom line: is it too late for us to correct his out of control behavior? What's the best strategy to get started?
(3)3 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
This is awesome actually! It's amassing how your son is developed in his age. And it's absolutely ok that he can't sit still. Can you imagine sitting still when it's so interesting around?
What I'd suggest you: find him something interesting to learn. I don't know, maybe logics, math, some other stuff... You need to find a challenge for him so your son can concentrate on overcoming the obstacles and reaching the goal instead of doing something that is not acceptable in this society. I remember that my mom made a lot of logic puzzles for me when I was small. But nowadays you should be able to find some interesting things in bookstores.
It's always easier to blame someone else because he is not like the other ones, but please, take some time to make your son even better.
To be honest - it's always an issue if your'e better then the others. Steve Jobs was considered a bad pupil as he was doing some pranks, just because he knew way more than a school level and so was bored…
First of all, I want to say that I have tremendous respect for what you are doing. My wife is experiencing the same thing, so I know how it is. The way I see this, is that your little one is passionate and curious. But he does not understand the world he lives in. My daughter also bites, scratches, and hits. When it comes to discipline, there is not much we can do now since she is only one year (except explaining and saying NO).
She goes nuts everyday, the same like in your case. Funny thing is, when we go outside with her, she can run and look around. It puts her in a different state. I would say this aggressive behavior is due to boredom. He seems an intelligent boy, so he might not be challenged in his activities. And please don't worry if he got kicked out of pre-school, I mean, to me it seems that they don't want to deal with him because he does not sit still. What I can recommend are the books from Dr. Karp; those helped us a lot. We read a lot about parenting since we do not have any family members that we can ask for help.
Remember, you are just providing guidance in his life, that does not mean that everything that happens is your fault; he has a strong personality and he wants to be independent. Even though my daughter makes us nuts, I know that she will get what she wants later on in life because of her strong personality.
I get worried sometimes too, but I notice that parents also got scared with all the garbage in the media about symptoms in kids about diseases. It happens so fast that kids get labeled with a medical term and are on a drug plan to make them socially more feasible. When it comes to parenting, listen to your heart and you will make the right decisions. You can be proud of yourself! I know this post is probably not what you have expected, but I felt related to your post, so I wanted to share my thoughts on that. Best of luck to you and your family.
I am willing to take here the opposite stand.
"Recently, he got kicked out of his pre-kindergarten nursery at 3.5"
This is a severe alarm sign. Its probably even beyond an alarm sign. You need to seek out professional help immediately. Minor adjustments wont do it any more, and only delay what has to be done.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © freshhoot.com2025 All Rights reserved.