Opening statement doesn't match conclusion. Is this count as plot loophole?
I wrote a story that starts like this:
My girlfriend, Hitomi, is in love with my elder brother. But refuses
to accept it. Not in the sense that she doesn't want to reveal the
truth---she doesn't know the truth herself.
Then in the final scene, I write:
The present, however, still haunted me. "Where's Satoshi?"
"At the apartment---oh, you won't believe what he did." Hitomi cupped
my hands with her ice-cooled ones. "He did this and told me that he
loved me."
"Really?" I said, coating my voice with faux surprise. "How ... did
you reply?"
"How else? That I'm with you and that I love you.'' Hitomi bit the
inner side of her cheek. "I think we got a big problem with Satoshi."
It took me a few seconds to digest this new reality. So perhaps I
had been paranoid after all? I'd probably never know, which was probably for the best.
As you can see, the first bolded part doesn't match the second bolded part.
However, I wonder if this is permissible in first-person narration where the MC doesn't know what is going to happen at the end of his tale? (Or at least, wants the reader to think that?)
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I wonder if this [opening statement doesn't match conclusion] is permissible in first-person narration where the MC doesn't know what is going to happen at the end of his tale? (Or at least, wants the reader to think that?)
I'd say that it's where it would be the most permissible.
In first-person narration, the POV is biased, since it depends on one character's opinions and ideas. It's perfectly acceptable for the tale to open with the character/narrator believing something only to reach the end and discover they were wrong in their initial belief. Or, at least, weren't quite right about it. In fact, it's a great twist and allows the character-narrator to evolve.
Obviously, the same can be said of other types of narration (which means that opening and closing statements at odds are permissible everywhere). Any character, or even an ironic narrator, can make a statement that turns out to be wrong at the end.
The way I see it, this change (or, better yet, evolution) mimics an important aspect of real life: one draws conclusions about others based on the actions one sees, but are our conclusions accurate?
The important thing isn't who the narrator is, it is what tense you use.
If you use the past tense, the narrator is looking back to something that already happened and the narration needs to reflect later events unless the narrator is unreliable and hides them on purpose that the reader can understand.
If you use the present tense the narration follows the timeline of the story and not only do you not need to account for future events and future knowledge, you really shouldn't.
That said, you are correct that having the narrator say things that turn out to be untrue makes the story weaker. There are two ways to deal with this.
You can use unreliable narrator. I am guessing this mostly involves making explicit that the narrator has some reason for telling this story, an agenda of his own. Your story doesn't seem like there is actual need to deceive the reader, so just mentioning that he is telling the story as he saw it at the time it happened should be enough to warn the reader he might be wrong.
Alternately, you can show not tell. Instead of the narrator saying his girlfriend is in love with his brother, narrate what the girlfriend does to make him think that and how he reacts to it.
For your story the first option is probably easier.
And for the record, if someone is convinced of something, they believe it to be a fact and would narrate it as such. The word "convinced" would be used if the narrator knew he was wrong, in which case past tense would be used, or if the focus was on the feelings of the narrator not on what the girlfriend feels.
Your problem isn't that the opening and conclusion don't match. It's that your conclusion doesn't resolve anything.
With an opening like that, your plot options are:
Get Hitomi to realize the truth.
Have your protagonist uncover the real truth, that it was Satoshi who was in love with Hitomi.
But in either case, discovering the truth is only half your story. The second half needs to have your characters make use of this newfound knowledge to take control of their lives. In the first scenario, Hitomi needs to choose between Satoshi and your protagonist. In the second scenario, your protagonist is the one who has to make a choice/sacrifice.
But ending a story with, "We've learned the truth, but we'll never know what comes of it" isn't satisfying at all. That's the real problem here.
When a story ends, it needs to answer the most primordial question posed early in your story. That question isn't whether Hitomi is in love with Satoshi or the protagonist. That part is already asserted, and it is known as The Lie. The real question is: Who does she choose once the lie is exposed?
Some advice that Ayn Rand offered was to start character with a false philosophy and to openly state it. By the end of the book, their arc should gracefully have delivered them to a true philosophy - these are the "book ends" that readers look for and which help them find satisfaction. Think Frodo between meeting Gandalf and throwing the ring away; each of the characters in Guardians of the Galaxy; etc. It's the conflict between these two points which delivers the storyline.
Rephrase your prose so that these opening and closing parantheses reflect each other in substance but not belief. Remember - the closing statement should contradict the original situation.
Unlike other forms of writing fiction deals with 'thoughts' and 'opinions' as opposed to 'facts'. Thought and opinions can change - facts do not.
Your story starts with a statement of fact. All your problems would be solved with a point of view.
I'm convinced, my girlfriend, Hitomi, is in love with my elder brother. But refuses to accept it. Not in the sense that she doesn't want to reveal the truth, maybe she doesn't know the truth herself.
All Fixed. More natural sounding. Improved voice.
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