: How can I teach my daughter to wait to speak? I have 2 daughters, a one year old and a four year old. The four year old will often call for me when I am speaking to someone else or watching a news show, interrupting me.

Vote Up Vote Down   0 Reactions

Login to give Reaction!

My parents did a "one more minute" rule. If I had something to say, and they were already talking/doing something, they would say "Ok honey, I hear you. I need to finish this first, then I will help you."

If I persisted or had a fit, they would say "Ok, now you have to wait one more minute before we help you!"

My mom kept an egg timer with her (no cellphones at this point), and set it to a minute (plus however long she estimated the task/conversation would last). If I persisted after that, they‘d add another minute. This would go on like that.

I learned pretty fast that patience is quicker. I think that the noise of the ticking also helped me focus on the fact that I had to wait. It was like a verbal timeout.

Vote Up Vote Down   0 Reactions

Login to give Reaction!

Our kids are using our reactions to learn what is effective behaviour and what is not.

This means your reactions should be consistent, so the child gets a clear message and is able to take it in. So, if you turn your attention to her after the first time she calls you and tell her to call you later, then you should ignore her subsequent calls for as long as it takes her to get tired of it (admittedly, that might be a long time). If you do this every time, she will eventually learn that calling you like that does not yield a result and will gradually give up on this ineffective behaviour.

On the other hand, if you get tired before she does and you do respond after the 10th or 15th call, you are basically rewarding her effort and the lesson you are teaching her is that 10-15 calls will get her what she wants.