What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?
I am not outside around my house often, but I've been doing a personal project that has put me just outside my front door for at least 50 hours now.
While out there, at least 40% of the time I have heard a neighborhood child screaming and crying. He sounds about 3 or 4 years old. I have yet to hear an adult or another child. Mostly, it doesn't seem like the child is distressed, but it is so often, that I wonder if there is any neglect or abuse going on. The fact that I haven't even heard an adult in all this time is very disturbing to me.
I haven't pinpointed which house, but I know I could rather quickly.
Should I briefly investigate myself to learn more or is this cause enough to report it to the police?
If it matters, I live in the USA.
(4)4 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
Let's not beat around the bush...
Do not ignore the situation if you believe there is abuse taking place.
Child Protective Services would be a better place to call than the police if you cannot see a crime being committed or the immediate evidence of one. CPS would rather check 100 families and find everything's ok than miss one child who is being neglected/abused.
There are many reasons for a child crying a lot and most of them aren't abuse. It's always worth getting the situation checked out if you're unsure.
Children often go through a stage where they just wail like they're being murdered because they didn't get their way on-demand and the parent is doing what they should do by not rewarding that behaviour. One of my children had a phase where she got so upset over nothing that she forgot what she was upset about! As a parent situations like that impossible to reason with and you just have to let the storm pass so to speak.
At night, children can suffer from a condition called 'night-terrors' where they appear to wake up (and often wander about the house) but scream the house down. They're actually asleep and any attempt to reason with or console them just makes the screaming worse. They usually go back to bed after a while, finish their good night's sleep and are up with the larks the next day - leaving everyone else groggy and grumpy (and possibly with a black eye) in the morning.
There may be more than one child - Some siblings fight like cat & dog and sometimes when mine argue even I can't tell which one's upset unless I can see them. One always wants what the other has (mine even argue over play-doh - they both seem to want the same colour just because the other has it!?!) and while you tend not to hear the initial disagreement, handling another's toy can sound like the outbreak of WW-III to the untrained observer.
Sometimes the parent is having a hard time coping (post-natal depression can affect anyone and creeps up on you) and Ed's suggestion in the comments to ask if they need a hand is a good one - talk to your neighbours, see if they've noticed the situation too and if the neighbour would be amenable to an offer of help.
Crying is not prima facie evidence of abuse. Often, quite the opposite.
My family might as well be the one you're talking about. My son cries at the drop of a hat. One of the main reasons we homeschool now is because when he was at public school he literally cried for the last hour or two almost every day. However, indulging him so he never cried for long would be more damaging than letting him cry as much as he wants.
One of our major goals for him, which we consider much more important than academic goals, is to teach him socially-acceptable ways to self-regulate his emotional responses, so he will be able to function in a job. He can't do that without at least some practice handling disappointment. It is extremely difficult to find the right balance with him.
His emotional issues are very draining on us as parents, and we lose our tempers more than I'd like to admit. The fact you never hear a parent means she should probably be sainted.
Our oldest daughter has cerebral palsy. She wakes up in severe pain. In order not to be in pain all day, she requires a series of extremely painful stretches. This causes a lot of screaming, but she thanks us afterward.
Our other daughter is typical both emotionally and physically. She rarely cries for long, and it's almost always for reasons that appropriately require our immediate intervention. Sometimes, we try to think what it would be like to be a person who only has experience with kids like her. How would such a person perceive our other children?
Before adding to this mother's burdens, I would suggest getting to know the family better. Yes, there could be neglect or abuse going on, but most likely it's just the ups and downs of a normal family.
Given 21st century American culture, I'd be very careful either way.
If a child is really being tortured, I certainly wouldn't want to just brush it off with "oh, kids cry and scream sometimes", and allow the abuse to continue.
But on the other hand, children can be taken away from their parents for reasons that, in my humble opinion anyway, range from trivial to totally wrong-headed. I just saw a story in the news the other day about parents being arrested and their child taken away because they got stuck in traffic and didn't get home until the boy had been home from school for half an hour, which time he spent playing basketball in the backyard with no apparent ill effects.
The fact that you don't hear any adult voices could be a positive thing. If there's a screaming child and also a screaming adult, I think that's a worse situation than a screaming child and a calm adult whose voice you can't hear over the child's screaming.
I'd say: get more information before you call the police or children's services. You could be as direct as knocking on the door the next time there's an incident and saying, "Hey, I heard screaming. Is everybody okay? Do you need help?" See what they say and go from there. Or to be a little more subtle, sometime when there's NOT an incident go over and introduce yourself and just say hi. I see in a comment on someone else's answer you say you are pursuing this. Seems like a good strategy to me.
I am a foster parent, and I can tell you these three things for a fact, from my own experience.
CPS or CPI (Child protective services) are trained to handle, and make these decisions very effectively, usually over the phone. First they take a call, then they decide if it's worth investigating further. About 90% of the time it's not, but they keep a record. If they think it should be investigated they send someone out.
The first resolution is NEVER to take the children. They will often provide services. For example, if they find a kid home alone, they will find ways to help pay for child care. Unless there is extreme neglect or abuse they will offer every bit of help they can to keep the children at home.
If the children have to be "taken" they are usually (I'd say around 95%, but I don't have last years numbers at hand) taken for "Relative placement". A lot of people like to play this up because it sounds more dramatic then it is. But lets say they find that your leaving a 4 year old alone. You refuse to do Day Care, even after they agree to pay part of it. So they "Take" the child. And they "Place" the child with their Grandparents. Again this is a last resort.
If you think abuse is happening then call CPI/CPS. Please. Better to be wrong 100s of times then right once and have done nothing. And as someone who constantly has these people in our home, and is under constant "investigation" (part of being a foster parent), they are not bad people or out to get anyone. They just want to keep the kids safe.
All of that said, different states and areas have different setups. So things might be different where you are.
Our kids spend so much time screaming and crying, because they often have to adjust to different (or some) rules.
Specially young kids tend to wail, as if they were in serious distress, because you told them no, you can't have a candy bar for breakfast.
If I were in your position, I would call it in. Better to be wrong then right.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © freshhoot.com2026 All Rights reserved.