How to help 3 year old realize that he has to pee?
My 3 year old has been potty trained for over a year but hasn't gotten to the point where he can tell me when he has to pee. I just take him throughout the day and he goes. However, if I wait too long, or if he is in the midst of something (like watching TV) he will just pee in his pants. I feel like it is getting worse and he is peeing in his pants more often lately. He usually just does it at home.
He never pees in his pants at his early childhood class once per week and never pees in his pants at grandparents house or church - just at home. How can I get him to tell me that he has to pee and stop peeing in his pants? I know he can hold so I'm not sure why he doesn't at home so often. He doesn't wear pull-ups over night or during naps and wakes up dry. He used to tell me when he had to poop consistently but doesn't really tell me that anymore either - just goes when I take him. Fortunately he doesn't have pooping accidents.
To clarify - he doesn't have accidents outside the home (rarely) but I am still the one taking him potty in those settings. He doesn't tell me he has to go outside the home either, he just holds it until I take him.
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Potty training is different for boys and girls and even between same sex children in the same family. Twins can learn it differently.
Try not be be exasperated or angry.
Before activities that you cannot control (church, movies at the theatre, standing in line for a treat) go to the bathroom first. Model this yourself. Your partner should as well. "We're getting ready to go, I am going to the bathroom/to pee before we leave." (Do this even if you don't need to go.)
When there is control, pick a time that makes sense to stop the activity and everyone goes to the bathroom. Your little guy might not want to miss anything or simply forget when he is enjoying the activity. Make it okay to stop and go to the bathroom -- never sigh or be impatient. Praise, but do not over-praise. Going to the bathroom is everyday stuff.
When the weather is good, play outside and if he wets his pants, do not offer to change him. Wet pants are uncomfortable. You should not leave it so long as to make his skin chaffed, but long enough for him to notice he doesn't like how it feels.Summer time is a good time to let up on the reminders and let him start saying he needs to pee.
Stop helping him change. This is hard because it makes a bigger mess of the bathroom and you'll ultimately have more work to do, but it is hard to get out of wet clothes. If he has to take care of it himself, he'll probably decide that he prefers not wetting his pants. It is up to him. This is not punishment. It is responsibility. Do not be mad, just give him his clean clothes.
The idea to discuss how it feels to need to pee was not mine, but struck me as a very sensible idea. He may not know what that feeling means. Sometimes the obvious to us is not at all obvious to them. (I wish I could find that terrific answer, but I looked and can't.)
We were in a similar situation with our boy. He would just wet his pants whilst looking at toys or watching TV. It was always whilst he was distracted.
What we did to avoid this situation is ask him regularly. This would break him from his distraction. If he wanted to go we would then encourage him to tell us that he wanted to go and at that point we would take him. Repetition is key here. They have to get into the habit of asking you as like anything with children it's new.
Quite often we found out boy didn't realise he needed the toilet whilst he was distracted. It was only once we broke that distraction he'd be able to think if he needed it or not. With time and a lot of persistence we managed to get our boy to tell us when he needed the toilet.
With our boy there were sometimes other tell signs. Light stepping from side to side, a bit like dancing was a big one for us. Tell signs are often automatic and they don't realise they are doing it. There are others and you boy may differ but it's worth trying to watch for these. They may be very subtle so watch closely.
I know it feels like sometimes you're not getting anywhere but you do so hang in there. Good luck.
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