3 year old won't tell us what he wants to eat
My son is normally very good at telling us what's on his mind, but we've always had trouble with the concept of "hungry".
He used to simply never mention being hungry (He'd tell us when he was thirsty, grumpy, sleepy, sneezy, dopey, doc, etc.) but he wouldn't say hungry. When we'd offer him a snack, he'd inhale it as though he had been starving for hours. We simply started offering food throughout the day.
Now though, he will tell us his "tummy might be a bit hungry" but when we ask him what he wants, he will say something completely unrelated (like talking to Ralph Wiggum). He'll say he's hungry, we'll ask him what he wants, then he'll say "I have shoes on" or something similar.
On top of this, he is fussy for the sake of it (gets it from me). We can offer him anything, and he'll turn it down. He's even refused chocolate. We'll have to list everything in the cupboard, then give up and make him sit down with a banana or something, then he'll only have two bites and run off to play.
Why is my kid so weird, what can I do?
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From my experience, I would say that your child is not weird, and the best thing should be to stop worry. When he says he's hungry, suggest some of the things you do have at your home (you do not want your child to get his mind set on something you don't have...) If he does not seem to choose anything or change subject, change subject as well : maybe he was not hungry after all.
It is only based on personal experience, but it seemed to me that at 3years, my daughter didn't really master the concept of "being hungry". It took some time for her to be sure at what feeling this word linked.
Also, it happened many times (ans still happens now at 4.5 years) that some weeks she will eat a ton, and some other weeks she will eat almost nothing (sometimes just an apple or two for a day). However, it seems to fit her perfectly fine. When she eats a lot, she grows one or two centimeters in the next days, and after that she spend days eating much less.
So, to sum up : Do not worry, keep proposing food you have when he says he's hungry, and don't force him to choose and eat something. If he changes subject, changes subject, maybe he'll eat next time. Do not worry, as his behaviors seems perfectly normal to me. If he seldom eat for the day, then he didn't need to eat that day.
It could be that the open-ended question of "what do you want to eat" is too difficult for him, and listing everything in the cupboard is overwhelming.
See if he could more easily answer a choice type of question like "do you want peas or broccoli? and with that do you want rice or pasta?
And if he still doesn't answer, provide him with a variety (4 or 5) healthy foods from each of the food groups at meal times and let him pick. We follow the Ellyn Satter division of responsibility in feeding: parents being the ones responsible for what to offer and when mealtimes will be, and the kid's responsibility to choose how much and whether to eat.
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