Two year old son sometimes using female verb endings - grammar issue?
My native language is Russian and this is important in scope of the question: past tense verbs are gender-specific here, for example "I've made..." will be "? ??????" if you are a boy and "? ???????" if you are a girl.
So, I have a 2 year old son and he speaks really well for his age. But sometimes he uses the wrong form of verbs (as described above).
Should I be concerned and help him if he's confused about his gender or is it just a language issue?
Let me change the question a bit, so it might become more clear - Is this a grammar issue or a self-identification issue?
I have a feeling that this all sounds like I'd love him less if it's not a grammar issue - which is definitely not true.
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The simplest explanation is that he is learning the language from his mother/kindergarden teacher/nanny who may be female. If the persons around him in the majority of time use the female form, your son will learn exactly that.
When he hears more males it will go away. When i learned Russian I had the problem that a female teacher will obviously use the female form, and if that is the only person you are talking to, you will copy it.
In Bulgarian, we have the same verb-tense-gender relation (the language is closely related to Russian).
My kids (2 boys and a girl, all of them) did similar mistakes at early age. They later learned to speak properly.
The issue is pretty much grammar-related. The concept of coordinating the verb gender to the rest of the sentence only in some cases is hard not only to minors, but also to adult learners of these languages.
I think it's too soon to relate your child's use of gendered language to his own gender. As you say he is two, there's a good chance that he doesn't yet have a full concept of his gender identity. It is usually said to develop around 3 years of age, becoming fully realized closer to age 5. Of course he may be ahead of average, but I think it is more likely to be a grammar issue than genuinely about gender. For English speaking children it's not unusual for 2-3 year olds to use pronouns incorrectly, or not understand when to use he vs she, or me vs you.
This also happens French, both in toddlers and older people learning it.
Toddlers learn to speak by listening to their parents/caretakers speaking. Boys who hear their mothers or other women speaking more than their fathers or other men may develop this habit until they learn what word terminations imply, at which point they will correct themselves.
At two years old your son hasn't grasped all of the intricacies of the language and is either using feminine and masculine versions interchangeably or only knows the feminine version.
At two years old, it's too young to be about gender identity
Important caveat: I don't speak a word of Russian, so I'm using Google Translate for my examples.
I own a cat. Naturally, we always refer to the cat by her name rather than as "cat", so my son has made the logical assumption that all cats are called [CatName].
So, when we are out and about and he spots some random cat and says "[CatName]", my response is to say "That's right [Son], that's a cat", because I know what he means, I'm just correcting him at the same time. Therefore I suggest you do the same with verb forms.
This is where my non-existent Russian knowledge comes into play: If you son says "
? ???????..." ("I've made..." with the feminine suffix), you can respond with "That's right, ?? ?????? (you've made, masculine suffix)...". This way you affirm and praise him for what he did, whilst also providing an example of the correct way to say the phrase.
Making mistakes while speaking is natural, for people of all languages, and not just for children, but also for adults! It is extremely common for children to make mistakes as they take the time to learn the rules of their language. For example children learning English will often learn the word "went", then changed to "goed" as they learn how to make past tense words with -ed, before relearning "went" some time later. Children are learning thousands of words in a very short time, and it's amazing to see how they do it. Why not document how they are learning to speak and how the mistakes they make change over time as they learn more of the rules.
I wouldn't be concerned about a two year old few misgendering a few words, but if you really are concerned, you can take your son to see a speech pathologist. For now I recommend that you do not make a big deal of it. The worst thing that could happen is that by trying to help them correct their speech you actually make them anxious about it, which could turn them into a life-long stutter. Again, see a speech pathologist if you are concerned.
Recommendations to "slow down", "take a breath", "say it again", etc., may increase the child's anxiety and fear, leading to more difficulties with speaking and, in the "cycle of stuttering," to yet more fear, anxiety and expectation of stuttering. Wikipedia
Of course it's a grammar issue. He's just learning to speak and hasn't yet fully made the connection between suffixes and gender. Just a few more months, maybe a year, more interaction with other kids and his language will become normal and non-threatening for Russian society :)
To be sure, pay attention how he speaks in second and third person (??/?? ??????(a)). I'd bet that he makes as many errors there, but you don't notice because you aren't bothered by this as much.
His mother uses female verb endings, so he repeats her phrases. I suppose if you talk to your son more often the issue will be resolved.
Growing up speaking Croatian, I used to make the same mistake from time to time. Even as an elementary schooler, when I already knew better. I simply misspoke and didn't care to correct myself. I also dressed up as a girl one time for fun. Neither of these were signs that I saw myself as female, though.
I am Czech and I also know Russian well. I have a sister two years older than me. I learned a lot from her and also from my mother of course, who was with us much more than our father. Thefore I often used female forms of verbs and also adjectives. When Ï got older, about 3 or 4 I did it sometimes intentionally, because it was funny play as adult people either smiled it or they corrected me and I liked to provoke them. Children often perform something to gain attention. Once in a shop being 3 or 4 I stayed at at a big mirror and first did various grimaces, like all children sometimes do, and some people smiled. I noticed that and started to dance in front of the mirror singing "I am pretty, I am so beutiful." using female endings of adjectives (??? ??-?????? "? ???????????, ? ????? ????????".), all people smiled, but they didn't understand that it is not a spontaneous play but an intentional performance for them. I am afraid that I could be "transgendered" now because I liked to tell nonsense, fantasies and lies only to confuse adult people or gain attention or avoid something I didn't like. Children are not innocent, they are often very cunning and tricky.
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