Best humorous exaggerated comparisons
I love funny comparisons in newspaper articles or other texts.
I am talking about things like "exciting like a winter morning" (except funny - I don't know any good English ones).
What are the funniest or best ones you have come across?
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Read Pterry (Terry Pratchett), he's got lots. One I like is how he states the difference between erotic and pornographic: it's like using a feather instead of the whole chicken.
P.G. Wodehouse is a master of this.
"Big chap with a small moustache and the sort of eye that can open an oyster at sixty paces."
"It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."
"His demeanour was that of a Napoleon who, suffering from toothache, sees his way to taking it out on one of his minor marshals."
Douglas Adams has numerous examples.
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
"[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
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