How can parents help an adult child with OCD?
My brother was diagnosed with OCD about two years ago and is following treatment.
He lives with our parents (we're both 20-ish years old, but I moved out years ago). He has some conspicuous compulsions that are obviously interfering with his daily life, such as needing to perform some repetitive actions when moving from one room to another or when leaving the house or coming in. So, he gets a lot of help from our parents (fetch me that, bring me that, that kind of stuff).
This also adds difficulty when performing some mundane activities, such as dressing and brushing teeth. He also doesn't do any chores or help out our parents.
He has a social life, as he doesn't show a lot of conspicuous signs of OCD when he is outside.
His doctor recommended therapy, but he doesn't want to do it.
He had one session but the therapist said he has to want to go of his own initiative and not go because other people told him to.
He also spends a lot of time on the computer (mostly games) and has few hobbies or interests that could potentially turn into a career later on. He is in college right now, but he doesn't seem to have a genuine interest in it and is just getting passing grades.
I tried to tell my parents to stop offering so much help (fetching things) because as far as I can tell that is enabling his compulsions, but I can't do much except offer my parents advice, as I live in a different city.
What can my parents do to help motivate him to better himself, both in regard to working to treat his OCD and also to become a more productive/generally better person?
I'm looking for answers from anyone who has had any experience with OCD, but any advice is welcome.
Edit: What I was hoping to get out of this question were some actual examples of ways my parents could change their interaction with my brother in order to help him. One example I can think of is how I advised them to stop fetching water/food/whatever, to motivate him to get up and move through the house (i.e. to stop enabling his compulsions).
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I know what your parents are going through, or at least I believe I do. I have a child with severe anxiety (OCD is typically an attempt to manage anxiety). I think the therapist that told your brother he needs to have internal motivation was technically accurate, but sort of unprofessional -- a therapist's job is to seek opportunities to help an anxious patient prove to him/herself that he can improve, and help him grow the motivation, not just cop a "sink or swim, loser" attitude. Anxiety is hard enough to overcome without that kind of judgement being heaped on, and that therapist did him a disservice with that little attitude, assuming his OCD is the conventional anxiety-based kind.
Cognitive behavioral therapy by someone who specializes in anxiety is the best way to get beyond this point, and family therapy is often necessary as well (as a support for the resentments that are inevitably present). Meds can help, but the true long term solution comes from therapy.
OCD is something that differs from case to case as I am sure any average person knows. I have found that in minor to minor moderate cases, it's doing things such as wearing 2 socks that are different in only the color of the words or of the feel of the interior.
If the case is more severe you have to be careful because you could seriously mess them up. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be a positive encouragement and just talk to them in terms they can understand, but DO NOT TALK TO THEM LIKE THEY ARE DUMB IT MAKES US VERY MAD!!!!! (I said "Us" because I am a teen, and I had very minor OCD. My mom has a more severe form, and my youngest brother had severe OCD mixed with over-sensitive nerves (not a good combo)).
Sometimes just showing them that it is okay to not do things the OCD way (if they like their food separate, eat yours mixed, but leave theirs separate, or if they like to clean their hands a certain number of times, wash your hands one time but let them wash their amount of times, and etc.) can work because if you treat them as their own person (in moderation) they will have more respect for you.
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