What factors to consider when choosing where to live
My children are still very young and I would like for them to have a stable upbringing, preferably in one place that they can call home.
I'm fortunate to be able to re-locate, but as a fairly new parent I don't really know what to look for when considering a new place to live. For example, good schools, low crime, nice climate, and seems ok -- but that's much of the world these days.
How can I narrow it down, other than simply choosing somewhere close to family & relatives? Have any parents learned lessons they can share related to choosing where to raise their kids, like something which isn't obvious that they wish they'd considered at the time?
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This is very broad and opinion based. I'd like to address a meta-diagnosis of your question since it is so broad. Remember your kids will be subjected to all manner of topics ranging from moral, to political, to cultural that you don't approve of no matter where you live.
First, irregardless of where you choose to live your ability to build a strong Parent-Child relationship will play a more important role than any group of cultural feature sets that make up the place and time you may live in.
Second, all children are born with a nature that you have varying degrees of influence over, but ultimately no control over. This can play out differently in different scenario's, however you cannot guess what these 'natures' will be and how they will react to the world they are born into.
Basic example, some people are born into abusive families. I was reading about Gordon Ramsey and he had an alcoholic and abusive parent in the home. He obviously responded well and his traumatic experiences molded him for the better. Other people will become cruel themselves, and others will completely collapse in on themselves.
This example applies to many personality traits and interests that we simply cannot predict. To min/max where to raise your kids may best by answered by instead of focusing on this try to min/max your ability and impact as a parent. I don't say this rudely, rather with humility, as I continue to learn things I wish I knew when my first kid was born.
In addition to a great answer by jcmack, here is my very subjective list of things to consider when choosing where to live:
Avoid busy streets. To walk anywhere, you often have to cross the busy street, which is a risk factor for everyone, especially kids. Noise and air pollution are also important factors.
Close to work and school/preschool/daycare. Long everyday commute steals the time your family can spend together. Plus, the probability of the accident is proportional to the commute time in a car. Walking distance to school is great.
Avoid high violence areas. Most neighborhoods in the US are safe (low violence) by world standards. Just visit the area of interest during the day and night, and your instincts will tell you. When in doubt, check the official crime statistics (not the news, since the news sources tend to prefer frightening the readers).
Close to your family and friends. This is similar to what you mentioned in the question.
Close to good schools. But take the school rating systems with a large grain of salt. The ratings show a lot of variation (noise). Very large difference in ratings that are stable across time are more reliable, while the small ones are less reliable due to noise.
Close to public transportation. This is a safer travel choice for everyone, especially kids (compared to a car).
Close to where you like to spend time, especially the kids, or you and the kids together as a family. An excellent choice is within walking distance to nature, such as a park. Health benefits of spending time in nature are well-documented.
How can I narrow it down, other than simply choosing somewhere close to family & relatives?
My wife and I selected our home for our son in a smallish bedroom community because of proximity to work, low crime, good hospitals, affordability and good schools for our day-to-day life. But we are close to hiking and parks to expose him to the great outdoors. We are also close to several large cities (within 20 miles) to expose him to different museums, music, plays, and foods. We are also planning to take him traveling at least domestically when he's a little older as well. But notice I didn't prioritize only for my kid, I also factored in criteria that are important to my wife and I. Happy parents equals happy kid.
But everyone is different. I personally recommend that you write down all of the factors you're considering (safety, expose to different cultures, appreciation for the outdoors, etc) and rank them in order of importance to you and pick where to live based on that. It's not likely you'll hit all of your criteria, but at least you'll discover what's important to you.
My recommendation to you is first focus on your children's safety and typically you'll get decent or good schools in lower crime areas anyway. I also think it's really important to be close to friends and family just because you'll have more support from your network. You'll get good advice, hand-me-downs, and trusted babysitters.
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