I walked in on my 18-year-old pooping herself
Really worried about my 18 year old, she has a lot of mental health issues due to being adopted. Her mom was abusive physically and verbally and left her alone in a house for the first two years of her life. She struggles with ADHD, RAD which is a reattachment disorder, ODD, depression, anxiety, and has a habit of hoarding things. She hoards things from the dirty diapers I find to food and everything in-between. She's been in therapy her whole life and it hasn't helped anything yet. I don't think punishment will work but I know therapy won't work so I'm not sure what to do.
She doesn't have a medical condition and when I ask her about it she just bluntly states that she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I'll see the diapers in her room and show her and ask her and her answer will be they aren't mine.
Several times throughout the past three years, my daughter has thrown out dirty diapers that I believe she had worn and used. And I tried to let it go, but tonight I walked in on her pooping her pants. She is 18 and is supposed to be starting college in the fall. I'm at total loss of what to do, how to punish her, and what to believe. I'm desperate to find answers.
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I'm at total loss of what to do, how to punish her, and what to believe. I'm desperate to find answers.
If I were in your situation, I would be dumbfounded as to how my daughter managed to handle that condition/practice for so long, I really would. And I would be worried for her. But you've known about it for years. Why suddenly panic?
But manage it she did, and she did an extraordinarily good job of it. What do you want to punish her for? For hiding it? For lying to you? For dirtying diapers? For using diapers at all? It's not clear to me.
If she's ready for college, she's an adult, and should be treated like one.
Talk to her about this situation. If someone in college finds out she wears diapers, it could go badly for her (how has she done in high school?) Talk about seeing a gastroenterologist about this problem if it's medical, or a therapist if it's not.
That's where I would start.
First you need to find out why she is doing it. If she's having medical issues or cannot control it, then get her help.
I'm not entirely sure why you are considering punishing her. Perhaps you can explain further?
One possibility is that this is a fetish of hers. I know that there is a diaper fetish where adults will pretend to be babies and engage in acts such as you describe. So that could be it as well. If that's it, then my advice would be to tell her to be clean and careful.
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