: How do you parent an adult child with a horrible ex? I have a 46-year-old son. I'm 62 and his father and I divorced 12 years ago, after 34 years of marriage. I have no one but my son to spend holidays with. My ex has a huge

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That is unfortunately not exactly a parenting situation, but more about you and a bit about your ex. Which means, it will probably be closed.

From my perspective, it's time you grow up and become self-reliant. It is not your son's duty to keep you from feeling lonely at the holidays. And if you are very clingy ("I have no one but my son to spend holidays with."), you are more likely to push your son away, not encourage him to celebrate with you.

What if your son had to move to [random place far away]? Your divorce was 12 years ago, plenty of time to develop a network of friends of your own. In your age bracket, there should be more people without a partner or immediate family nearby. They can either give you hints about how they deal with it or be grateful for your company.

For the holidays, find other lonely people to celebrate with: who says a "family" needs to be related by blood? Be open-minded and open-hearted.

Or volunteer - helping those who have less (both materially and socially) has a way to put our own issues into perspective.

Or simply accept that you are alone - not necessarily a bad thing. Use the day to give yourself a gift, do something you truly enjoy or pamper yourself a bit.

But who says that you can't celebrate with your son at all? Have you considered shifting the dates a bit? Every young couple with two sets of parents has to navigate the murky waters of "who do we celebrate with and when" and while some alternate, many simply celebrate twice, e.g. on the weekend before or after the real holiday. If you feel truly hurt, talk to your son and find a solution like that.

From your post, it sounds as if celebrating with your son and his father is not an option, but that's something you'll know better than I.