How much will I be able to bench press?
We recently purchased a family gym membership, as our daughter has gotten into weight lifting to help her with sports. I told her I would go to the gym with her tomorrow night, and I'm nervous about it, to say the least. She is 14 years old and has been lifting weights for a year and a half. I was asking her about what she does when she lifts weights, and she mentioned that she works out with 145 lbs on the bench press. I've been trying to do some reading on weight lifting to be a bit prepared.
I'm 41 years old, male, 5'8, 130 lbs, have been a runner for decades and haven't lifted a weight since middle school, and honestly never even tried the bench press. She is about one inch shorter. She and I both realize that it will take time for me, but I'm not looking to embarrass myself. Should I expect to be able to lift that amount of weight? Or should I expect to be outclassed?
Any advice on how to handle this gracefully? Thanks.
(13)13 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
Although everyone is built differently, I will provide anecdotal experience to kind of give you an idea of where you could likely perform.
When I first started going to the gym, I was pretty much exactly your height and weight (albeit, I was about 20 years old so the age difference might be important). I worked with a trainer for my first day and while doing the bench press I did around 75 lbs for 3 set of 8 with a LOT of help from the trainer. I do not think I would have been able to do that much alone at all.
As others have suggested, I would either just use an empty bar, or use dumbbells (maybe 15-20 lbs). The movements are tricky to get perfect and its important to get the technique down before you start pushing yourself. The dumbbells will be good because when you are just starting, you might have a muscle imbalance, where maybe one arm is stronger than the other. When using a barbell, this can be hard to notice as both arms are used to push one object, and therefore one arm could be doing more work than the other.
Just remember to take it slow as to not hurt yourself. Any sensible person at the gym won't care how much you are lifting. Everyone started somewhere, and in the beginning you grow quickly.
According to the charts linked below, you should expect yourself to be able to bench press between 74 and 110 lbs as your one rep max. When doing sets, you’ll be doing less weight.
You will be “outclassed” because she’s clearly put in some work and had time to build lean muscle. You’ll basically be starting fresh, so that makes sense though. As a word of advice, avoid “ego lifting” and try to learn proper form first and foremost. Then, as you become comfortable with the movement patterns, pick a challenging weight when you are ready to do sets. Just don’t go too heavy or too light (to the point where it isn’t challenging), neither of those two options are beneficial.
(Note that "Too Heavy" is defined by you not being able to do the exercise in proper form and "Too Light" is defined by a lack of muscular engagement. The middle ground between the two that you are looking for is when your muscles are "challenged".)
Related - A quick way to find that ideal challenge level is to do a single rep with various weights, starting light and adding more as you feel comfortable. You will find this to be the case with the various exercises that you incorporate into your routine. Try to take notes (mental or otherwise) and remember what weights were challenging for you. That way, the next time you go to work out, you'll be ready to make the most of it from the start.
strengthlevel.com/strength-standards
SO as your just staring out, it's important to do, and work on three main goals.
Your max weight
Your workout weight
Your Form
Now your max weight is the weight that you can lift one time. If you can lift it twice then you didn't do your max weight. You should be very careful when trying to figure this out the first time. Make sure you have a spotter or two, and that they are comfortable lifting and catching the weight should you drop it. This number is only really good to see how far you have come. So I recommend skipping this till your a week or two (maybe even a month) in.
Your workout weight is what is more important to you right now. Start by knowing your goals. Are you trying to do three sets of 12? That's a good starting point. Then start with a silly low number and do the first set. Lets say 60 lbs. Can you do all 12 reps? Do you feel all "noodle arms". If you can't do 12, or you can and you feel all noodle arms, then it's too much weight and you should go down. If you did all 12, and it felt super easy, then go up a bit (say 90), then do another set. Again if your just barely completing the set, and you feel week and wobbly after it, then you have too much weight. Rinse and repeat till you get to the point that you can lift the weight 12 times with effort, but that even in the 3rd 12 you still feel confident that you can lift it. Don't fall in to the trap of the people at the gym yelling and screaming "just one more rep" they are not helping themselves. Instead you should be able to do your entire workout, feel tired and worn, but not exhausted or spent.
AGE ALERT
Due to your age you are going to want to take it slow. So what if it takes you 2 weeks to find the right weight. This working out thing will have side effects. The last thing you want to do is feel like you had a good work out, go to bed, get up in the morning, and find out that you can't work your arms well enough to put on your pants. When you make that mistake and your younger your body will recover faster. When you make it and your older you could actually have to miss work because you can't work your pants. Take it slow. That's important at 20 too, but very much so at 40.
Lastly, but most importantly, your form. You will get a better (more productive) workout lifting and empty bar correctly, then you will lifting 500 lbs incorrectly. Make sure to educate your self on your form, and follow it. It will help reduce heal times, keep you safe, and make sure that your effort is not wasted.
Apparently during a regular push-up you are lifting 64% of your body weight (the other 36% is, presumably, the weight on your feet rather than your hands).
So when you push-up, you are lifting (130lb x 64% =) 83lb.
145lb would be 75% more than 83lb.
In summary, how easily you can lift 83lb may correspond to how easily you can do push-ups (which you can test for yourself, easily enough, even without a gym).
You're totally outclassed here. You're 130 pounds and haven't moved a weight in decades. She could beat you up if she wanted. Just let her tell you how much you should try, she sounds like she would know. I think you should listen to your ego, ultimately.. that you should be able to lift more than a girl, and just go to the gym eh? Put in the same time she has and see if you like being strong.
People working out at the gym could care less about how much another person lifts, bench presses, squats etc. Everyone who is at the gym is trying improve their bodies and couldn't care less about yours. So don't worry about the weight being light because no ADULT at a gym will mock or make fun of person for doing light weight.
Doing reasonable weight AND proper form is better than trying to do too much weight with improper form. Start with the bar and go up by 10 pounds or so until you feel comfortable doing 3 sets of 8-12 reps. You want to exercise those muscles not overwork or strain them.
At the end of the day a daughter is going to be able to workout with her father and I don't think she'll pass any judgement on her father for not being able to bench as much as her, except with some occasional playful teasing here and there. Enjoy the time you get to spend with her doing something she loves.
Short answer: you will not be able to do that amount of weight, your body is not prepared for that movement with any amount of weight (unless you do some push-ups once in a while).
You should congratulate your daughter and be proud of her, benching your body weight is a nice goal to have for beginners and intermediates. 2X your body weight is no small feat (I can't even do that, my max bench was 315 and I'm about 200 pounds), 3X is very rare!
There is a very reasonable way to approach weight lifting with free weights:
Start with the empty bar.
The sport of weight lifting, most importantly with free weights (which I wholeheartedly suggest you do, and skip the machines), is very much about the technique. At the beginning, you get away with anything, but when you get into tougher weights, you can really hurt yourself bad. And hurting means no training, hence no progress, and no fun.
So, start with an empty bar. If someone looks at you funnily, it's their fault. Other guys at the gym are not supposed to care, and you will certainly not get insulted for it by strangers.
You most definitely do not want to get into a contest with your daughter. Do the empty bar with pride, and have her do a partner-check for you (Correct form? No big arch in the back? Feet tight on the floor? Full range of movement? etc.). Think about what happens when you grow into it, eventually she surely will not be able to keep up with you - making it a contest just sets you both up for frustration.
Bench pressing your body weight is actually quite impressive and would take several months of training to achieve. In my experience, someone new to weight training might be able to lift 50-70% bodyweight, depending on their general condition.
The most important thing with weights is to lift what's appropriate for you. Not only will you risk injury, but to grow stronger you need to perform enough repetitions to work the muscles fully, and you won't do that if the weight is too heavy. 3 sets of 12 reps is a good starting point, and it pretty much works for any exercise not just bench press.
Thank you all for your answers/advice/contributions - can't say that I was expecting such a flurry!
We went to the gym this evening, and it was a new experience, to say the least. Clarification: I am a man - 41 yrs old, 5'8 130lbs, with decades of mid to long distance running, my daughter is 14, 5'7 "140ish" and she swims and plays water polo. She's been lifting weights 3-5 times per week since the summer of 2016.
Your answers were helpful, as I went into it not expecting to match her lifts. I didn't. Since it seems you all may be interested, I'll summarize my time as her fill-in lifting partner.
We did the bench press, and as she said she would, she did 3 sets of 10 with 145 lbs, which is a 45 lb weight and a 5 lb weight on each end of the bar, for those of you who don't know what that looks like (I didn't, to be honest).
Finding a weight for me took some trial and error, but I ended up doing a set and a half with 65 lbs (plus one rep in the "third set"). This is a ten pound weight on each side.
We also did bicep curls, in which I used a 10 lb weight and my daughter used a 25 lb weight. Then we did a handful of machine exercises that I don't remember all the names of - one was the shoulder press, a rowing one, one for triceps. We did (or tried to do) some pullups. We finished with doing a punching bag, which was maybe the most awful, because I have actually never thrown a punch in my life, and I'm certain I looked like a fool because my daughter was giggling the whole time as she wailed on her bag.
So to summarize, she was able to lift basically 2-3 times as much as I was on any given exercise. This wasn't necessarily embarrassing, as the gym was fairly empty of any onlookers, but it is definitely humbling to know that my 14 year old daughter is physically superior to me by such a wide margin. She definitely relished it, and our relationship has always been built on joking and teasing, so it would probably be unreasonable for me to expect her to treat this situation differently. So I'm sure that the "weakling" jokes will be flowing.
For those of you who will tell me I should hit the weights to not be such a wimp, based on the fact that this has never been something I've been remotely interested in, it feels like it would be strange for me start working out hard to surpass my teenage daughter in strength.
First off, props to your daughter. That's very respectable for a girl that age & size.
Second, unless there's money on this, start with an empty bar (45 lbs).
Even if you can lift more than that, delayed onset muscle soreness (aka DOMS) hits hardest when doing things that you haven't done lately. If you lift anywhere near as much as you can, you'll feel it for the next five days. I personally have never regretted starting too light.
Also, the bench is a more technical lift than a lot of people realize. Take the first few weeks to learn how to do it efficiently and safely, rather than to move a lot of iron.
Certain lifts require something to be on the bar (it's very hard to deadlift with an empty bar as the weight changes your center of mass and positions the bar), but the bench isn't one of them.
Last, it's a chance to show your daughter what it looks like to be careful & smart, something my kids at least need to see more often.
Good luck whatever you do.
Given your height/weight, you are fairly lean and your running will not have done much to develop your chest muscles. Unless your other activities have worked them, I think it is unlikely you will be able to do a set at 145 lbs on your first visit.
To handle it gracefully, put your ego aside and accept that your daughter is going to outperform you in the short term. Start light and ensure that your form is good rather than straining to see how much you can do the first day. If the first set is too easy, step it up on the next set, but I suggest you aim for weights that seem to require "medium" effort to start with - a day or two after your session, you are likely to find your newly stressed muscles protesting.
Once you get familiar with how to perform the various exercises, you will likely be able to increase the weight steadily for awhile (beginners gains,) before being limited by muscle growth.
one way is stack the bar with a with some weight. Do 3 reps then ask your self can you do another 9. if the answer is yes easily than stack more weight on the bar do another three and ask the same question but with 6 reps if yes add more weight do another 3 same question can I do 3 more if the answer is easily add more weight. If the answer is no then take a little weight off and that should take you to overload. If at any time the answer is no then take a little off then do another three and ask the question. It works if you start with a slightly heavier weight as you could run out of reps before you get to your ideal weight. This method can be used for most exercises and is designed to find a starting point. Of course the old favourite is a 1 rep max then work on about 60% for your 12 reps. Hope I havnt confused you.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © freshhoot.com2025 All Rights reserved.