My daughter tells me her teacher slapped her. How should I proceed?
I have a 4-year-old daughter. She goes to a small, private preschool. It is one class, all my daughter's age.
There is no director; it consists of four women, who are partners, who take turns teaching together. We have met the teachers once, so I don't know them at all.
My daughter told my wife that the teacher slapped her today. My daughter has also mentioned before that the teacher slapped another student. There is no physical evidence. My daughter said she wanted to play with toys and the teachers wouldn't let her get any out so she started to cry and they slapped her for crying and put her in timeout.
The thing is that sometimes kids say things (mine included) that aren't true. I'm not sure how much doubt/trust should I place in the story my daughter is telling. I believe her but I'm worried that as her father I may be biased.
My daughter's description sounds like herself. I pretty much have the same interaction with her several times a week. (with out the slapping though.)
How should I broach this with the teacher?
Lack of evidence aside I'm disinclined to start a law suite. Though I could be convinced. I don't want to ruin someone's life over a slap, but I'm also feeling rather ... angry.
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Ask the teacher about your daughter not being allowed to play or whatever she was doing. Tell her that since then your daughter is showing a "sad" face and ask the teacher "why should my daugther be sad?" So I had some experience with this and kids usually won't lie but also usually exaggerate, so if your daughter does not exaggerate in those kinds of situations, then I would say she is not lying.
First off, when it involves your children being physically assaulted, always believe them. Children (especially so young) don't tend to have a strong concept of consequences. Because of this, it is unlikely that your daughter is fabricating the story to get the teacher in trouble.
In order to broach this subject with the teachers, you should ask the teachers to tell you more about their methods of discipline. You could even start the conversation with:
My daughter is sometimes unruly at home. You must have experience wrangling kids with all these little ones running around. Do you have any tips for me that could help when she seems to be absolutely out-of-control?
Although, that might be directing the conversation too much. Sometimes it's best to just ask straight out what their different stages of discipline are. The next thing I would do would be contact other parents privately and ask if they have similar stories coming home with their kids. Children are great spectators: they pick up on everything.
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