My wife is under treatment for depression and just had a traumatic labor. What can I do to help her?
My wife gave birth two weeks ago. It was all very traumatic and it has certainly taken its toll on her mood. She suffers from depression anyway, and now I am concerned that she is probably suffering from post-natal depression. My wife is under professional care for her depression, and we also have cover from a post-natal psychiatrist. She is still very attentive to the baby, and is doing a fantastic job of breastfeeding etc.
I'm just looking for any tips of things that I could do to make things easier for her really! In particular, I'm worried (and so is she) that she is missing out on a lot of the happy early bits of parenthood and would like to do anything I can to help her enjoy this bit a little more. My question, I suppose, is how can I help with this tricky period in addition to seeking professional care? In some ways, I think that this is as much about me feeling that I am doing something useful as it is about my wife!
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That is a tough one, as we cannot "make" ourselves happy, etc... One bit of advice is for her to exercise. It is well documented that exercise can help lift people out of a sad/depressed state. You will need to do it with her to help motivate her ( I know depression makes me not want to exercise ), and figuring out which exercises are good for her will take trial and error since her body was just put through a blender.
My wife really liked to bounce on one of those single person exercise trampolines. She did find that the bouncing motion was a little disconcerting early since she just had a baby, but she started out (just after the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd baby), just light bouncing, nothing crazy. She was able to increase from there as time went on and her body recovered from having a baby and got stronger.
Sleep deprivation really feeds into PPD. So the simplest thing you could do for her is to help her to have the opportunity to sleep as much as possible. You giving the baby a bottle once in a while so she can sleep uninterrupted for a few hours could be really helpful.
The most important thing is to be aware of the signs of depression in general, and to seek professional help even for apparently minor issues. You've already got that covered because of the preexisting condition, which is good -- keep it up.
Post-partum depression is often not just due to hormones, but also the stress and sleeplessness of being a new parent. Do as much as possible to provide help with the new child and general household tasks. Provide opportunities for breaks -- time out with friends, running errands without the baby, even a nap and shower and an hour of "quiet mommy time" is remarkably refreshing. Be positive towards her, expressing respect for her hard work and support during this transition.
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