How should one refuse to father in law (Chinese) when he wants to borrow money?
I’m 24, male was born in Western Europe, currently living in China. The main reason why I’m in China is my girlfriend who I met back at my home town and she happened to be Chinese. I’m full time post graduate student who works part-time on weekends and evenings. My girlfriend works full time. Our shared income can be estimated as 12000 RMB(2000 USD) / month.
My future father-in-law has been running small factory that produces snacks. Last two years his business was not profitable, so he took several loans to modernize his factory. His revenue is still not that good for now. Last month he borrowed 2000 USD. Several days ago he borrowed 500 USD again. I and my girlfriend know that he would not return that money. He borrows this money not to make a simple living buying food or paying bills. He asks this money to “support” his factory: first time to pay some of his debts the second time to have some kind of guarantee to apply for new loan…
We strongly feel that the money we give him will not save his factory, but that money is still a part of our income that we earned working hard. How do we refuse him when he asks for money again?
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In these situations, one solution is to use the "I was just about to ask you the same thing..." response.
This is kind of a famous way to deal with people asking you for money, whether it's someone asking to borrow " at lunch time" or "00 for a car" or the like.
So:
Person X asks you for money, say 00.
Your reply: Ah, that's bad luck, I was just about to ask you the same thing...
Follow this immediately - just keep talking - by launching in to a really incredibly detailed discussion of why you need to borrow money (pick a slightly larger amount, slet's ay 00). Just "keep talking" and don't let the other person get a word in. Go in to great detail about just what you need the 00 for and why.
It's a good trick.
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